Christmas is comin', Christmas is comin'
Christmas is comin' again
But that never thrills me, the thought of it chills me
I tell you it fills me with pain
It makes me remember a Christmas gone by
When I was extremely upset
A night in December, an evening that I
Would very much rather forget

For I took me harp to a party but nobody asked me to play
The others were jolly and 'earty but I wasn't feelin' so gay
They might have said play us a tune we can sing
But somehow I don't think they noticed the thing
I took me harp to a party but nobody asked me to play
So I took the darned thing away

They asked Mrs Morgan to play her mouth-organ
And somebody else did a dance
They Let Mrs Carter perform a sonata
But I wasn't given a chance
A north country person called Sandy McPherson
Played bagpipes and took off his coat
While both the Miss Fawcetts bust out of their corsets
In trying to take a top note

But I took me harp to a party, nobody asked me to play
The others were jolly and 'earty but I wasn't feelin' so gay
I felt so ashamed at not strikin' a note
That I tried to hide the thing under me coat
I took me harp to a party but nobody asked me to play
So I took the darned thing away

They sang Home Sweet Home and The Banks of Loch Lomond
And All the King's Horses, then Trees
While nephews and nieces kept playin' their pieces
And spreadin' their jam on the keys
A daughter called Lena, played her concertina
We all played ridiculous games
'Til old Mr Dyer, set his whiskers on fire
And a fire engine played on the flames

But I took me harp to a party but nobody asked me to play
So I took the darned thing away!
Oh dear-dear-dear, will nobody ask me to play