Walter and me, we've been courtin' for years
But he's never asked me to wed
When Leap Year comes round I give three hearty cheers
Hip-hip-hooray, hip-hip-hooray, hip-hip-hooray
As I do the askin' instead
I don't want to die an old maid
So I sing him this serenade:

Walter-er, Walter, lead me to the altar
I'll make a better man of you
Walter, Walter, buy the bricks and mortar
And we'll build a love nest for two
My bottom drawer's all packed and ready
My bridal gown's as good as new
Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
And make all me nightmares come true

Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
I don't cost much to keep in food
Walter-er, Walter, mother says you oughta
So take me while she's in the mood
You know I'm very fond of chickens
We'll raise a lovely little brood
Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
And I'll show you where I'm tattooed

Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
Don't say I've met me Waterloo
Walter, Walter, tears are tasting salter
And I've lost me handkerchief too
Don't muck the goods about no longer
My old age pension's nearly due
Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
It's either the workhouse or you...

Oh dear, it is an all, it is an all
I'm gettin' older every day