I've never done the Carson show
I've never found the time
but when I'm back in Hollywood
I'll drop in to say "hi"
I'll say, "John, it's such a privilege to sit here in your chair.
The folks back home are tuning in, excuse me if I stare."

And, "I've always watched your show at home,
I've always been a fan;
I love it when you make big jokes of Doc
and Ed McMhan."

And then I'll sing a song or two
and John will act impressed
then make me slip down on the couch
and bring out his next guest

Of all the things I've never done
the one that I want most:
Johnny Carson can I be your Monday night guest host?