We hit the streets about 7 p.m.
We wait till the sun's hanging low, shining dim
Then we march to the barroom
Just as blue as can be
My headache, my heartache, my backache and me

Well my headache screams, "Son,
Turn the dang jukebox down"
My heartache cries, "Buddy,
Our baby left town"
My backache keeps naggin,
"Let's go home, watch TV"
But they'll soon simmer down
Cause the drinks are on me

CHORUS:
And there's four of us wondering when you're coming home
Hobbled with pain since you left us alone
But we'll stand together through adversity
My headache, my heartache, my backache and me

Well my head tells my heart
"Man, you ain't got no spine"
My heart tells my backbone
"You're losing your mind"
They make such a racket
I can't hardly think
But you can hear a pin drop
When I pour four more drinks

You left us ten lonesome fingers
I've worked to the bone
Nine hot dogs, eight buns,
Seven movies on loan
One six pack of Red Dog
Five locks with no key
A headache, a heartache, a backache and me

CHORUS:
And there's four of us wondering when you're coming home
Howlin' with pain since you left us alone
But we shall salute you wherever you be
My headache, my heartache, my backache and me

CHORUS:
Now there's eight of us wondering when you're coming home
Doubled with pain since you left us alone
But we'll stand together through eternity
My headache, my heartache, my hip ache, my neck ache
My knee ache, my toothache, my backache and me